Subject: The Commuter
Yes, I am one of those. I use to live in Hampshire which is about 40 minutes from London.
This means going on the wonderful south west trains everyday where you will be sure to not get a seat, be wedged in between retried over 60’s off on day trip or the classic men in suits. Sometimes not a bad thing… however the majority of the time it is.
Anyway, see below for some common sites you may see on your commute into London.
1. The guy catching up on last night’s episode of 8 out of 10 cats
- This is a classic, he will likely be drinking a can of red bull, headphones are a bright green colour, and he will be laughing like he’s in the comfort of his own home. Have no fear though guys, the volume is up so high that you can normally hear Jimmy Carr’s laugh over his.
2. The woman who although she looks a well organised, well put together woman still sees the need to eat her disgusting looking and smelling breakfast on the train. My thoughts on this are as follows… I’m all for eating food on the train, I normally grab a banana and a breakfast bar (healthy I know) before I leave the house. But this woman has gone to the trouble of seasoning whatever are in the tuba-ware, theres a metal fork, a napkin and a flask of coffee. If she has time to put together her Michelin star breakfast, why can she spend an extra 5 minutes at home eating it and save us all.
3. The sleeper – I don’t feel like this needs much explanation. We all know who I’m talking about, man or woman I wont discriminate based on gender around the sleeper. Do I need to mention that the likelihood is that their mouth is open making a noise that comes close to chocking?
I believe based on the level of intimacy on trains I have had several relationships with men and women commuters. Delightful.
4. Move over… I know I touched on this point in the previous commuter type. But this has to be the main issue with public transport. People no matter the size, don’t seem to understand the idea of personal space and what’s fair. . Imagine yourself in a 2 seater. 50/50 seating; however the person sharing this space doesn’t seem to grasp that concept and feels the need to get extremely intimate with you for 40 minutes. There is no excuse, everyday I find myself repeating over and over in my head.
Move over bitch.
I could go on all day about the types of people I meet on the train. Its like the whole world and their dog decide to get on my train at 8am with me. Is this a test?
Let me know the types of people you come across on your journey into work.
Maybe I should start a whole new section called the trauma of commuter life.
What do you think?
The irony is I’m writing this post on the tube into central London with a man next to me fast asleep with dribble down his chin.
Talk about writer’s inspiration.