Subject: How to gain kudos as the new Intern
First day and feel like you have been thrown into the Lion’s den, well work it like the Lioness you are.
Money, money, money……
Make like you’re rich or even better be rich. You’ll be respected when it comes to drinks at the pub. You might also be worshiped when you loan a tenner when someone’s cash card is swallowed on their jogging break. What will also let you have idol status is living in a mansion or London retro penthouse. It doesn’t matter that you actually rent the bijous garage come sub-let.
The only show is you…..
Be famous for any valid reason. Be related to George Clooney, you maybe his cousin three times removed but you see him at least once a year at a family event and that gives you enough bragging rights per annum and the main discussion will be what Amal wore to the event.
Your love life has to be more spectacular than Lady Gaga’s fashion adviser’s bank balance. Feel bold but in control your marital status. Sleeping with the office window cleaner or computer engineer only works if he looks like the Pepsi advert man. Be proud if you slept with your boss but are still very much together years later. People tend to appreciate true love but they’ll also respect you for having the balls to do what they would never have done / will never do. You could also show off your medal for the sex Olympics with the above-mentioned computer engineer or your old boss but remember no one likes a tease or a homewrecker.
Fun loving interns….
Being fun loving also has its place. Being in the Guinness book of records for being able to put the most Maltesers in your mouth means you’re acceptable to a little down time. The ladies you work with will give you extra points for involving chocolate in the whole escapade.
Play it like Mulder and Scully and work it like an ex FBI agent. Watch them flitch when they see your search history has them on Google maps and watch them shake as they wait for you to press down on your parker pen more than twice.
If you’re single act like a Princess and most definitely make sure you act like the type of person he or she wants to take home to Mamma. Always manage any indiscretions; no one wants to be fodder for the water cooler gossip the day after the Christmas office work do. Any hushed whispers should come from being jealous of you and never about the hating.
Make sure the chatter is about your amazing outfit on dress-down Fridays not the hacked dodgy Instagram picture from your holiday in Benidorm. Mainly don’t take any dodgy makeup free or unedited photo on any cloud device unless working it naturally has you looking like the angel you are.